And Now, Now You’re Gone

I’ve never lost a piece of myself before.

I feel like I’ll look down and discover only one arm or that a leg has quietly detached itself.

I find it amazing how I can go minutes, hours, sometimes I trick myself into keeping it together for a whole day, and be perfectly fine. I laugh and feel good and think I’m at peace with everything.

Then a stray thought or random memory makes me want to quote depressing song lyrics to the internet’s captive audience. I cry because I can’t do anything else even though I couldn’t tell you exactly what I’m crying about.

It’s the sort of feeling that can only be expressed through tears and black and white movies.

It’s the sort of feeling that’s never going to go away. I’ll get used to it and there will eventually be more time between it.

But, 30 years from now I’m still going to think of my Dad and feel these tears claw their way down my cheeks.


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