Machiavelli Called, He Wants His Political Philosophy Back

We’ll just pretend to be health workers, injecting unknown substances into people, taking their DNA, and they’ll totally be fine with it.

I mean, we’re doing it to catch Osama Bin Laden.

Duh.

How can anyone be upset about that? It’s terrorism. And you either support us, or you’re a terrorist.

(It’s quite convenient that it’s so easy to tell terrorists apart from non-terrorists.)

You may have your own culture and your own world view, but trust us. We’re the United States. We know what’s best.

People apparently aren’t getting the polio vaccine anymore because of our tactics. Apparently, this terrible disease is on-trend, despite being so close to eradication. What can we do? It’s your decision not to get the vaccine.

But, jeez, people are causing such a fuss over this! Fine, whatever, we won’t do it anymore.

Just don’t come blaming us for our own actions.

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